Hey Helga!
by Gemdiamond
Summary: Chapter 8 is up! The ending of the story... peeps who like this story please read the rest and review so i know how pathetic it was!
1. Chapter 1: Helga does not feel herself

HEY HELGA!  
  
DISCLAIMER: These characters aren't mine. You know that, don't you?!  
  
*~*~ Chapter 1: Helga doesn't feel herself ~*~* Dear Diary,  
  
This is Helga.I have moved on to fifth grade! Anyway, I know it is soo not me to write in a dinky diary, but I must have something to express myself. I can't tell anyone, because. because.. Secretly, I have always been embarrassed.  
  
Rewind-Me, Helga Pataki, school bully, embarrassed?! I know I am not acting myself. But why?  
  
I think I should ask Pheebs (Pheobe). Or Lila. She's an expert with this trash. I remember last year when I tried to be Juliet in this (this is true) play that P.S. 118 was holding. Arnold, my beloved, was the Romeo. So I had to tell Lila. But she thought it was oh-so-sweet.  
  
Yuck. Anyway, I gotta go. Bye!  
  
I shut my diary. I leaned over my bed, and grabbed the phone, dialing Pheeb's phone number.  
  
"Hey, Pheebs?!" I asked. "I need your help!'  
  
"Not now, Helga. Arnold's over. We're doing a project." Pheebs and I got put in a different class. Pheebs and Arnold got put together in one class.  
  
I nearly flew off my bed in despair. "Pheebs, how could you?!" I demanded. "Invite him over, when you know I would devote my life for him-"  
  
"What?!" I held my mouth. Oops, I thought. "You would what?!"  
  
"Did Arnold hear?" I asked slowly. "He couldn't have."  
  
"I don't know," said Pheebs. I hung up the phone, very slowly, looking at my ceiling. I didn't even realize that I had hung up on Pheebs, right then!  
  
I leaned over and grabbed at the phone again. "Lila, I need your help!"  
  
"You need my help? For what?" she asked in that oh-so-sweet tone.  
  
"It's-you gotta come over!"  
  
I hung up oh-so-fast, even before Lila could ask when. Seconds later, the door bell rang loudly. 


	2. Chapter 2: When Lila comes over

*~*~ Chapter 2: When Lila comes over ~*~*  
  
Ding-dong. I scrambled down the stairs.  
  
"Lila, I need your help!" I cried.  
  
"Helga, you aren't acting yourself!" she pointed out. "You never use your oh-so-sweet manners around me-"  
  
"Just shut up! This is a first, and don't get used to it, got it?!' Lila nodded. She sat down on my bed.  
  
"So what is your problem, Helga, that you needed me oh-so-dearly?"  
  
"One rule, Lila. No more oh-so-sweet and oh-so-dearly in my room. Clear as crystals?" I asked.  
  
"Oh, why?"  
  
"It's stupid and annoying. Now let's get to the point. I don't feel myself- "  
  
"Puberty!" Lila burst. "I know it's puberty-"  
  
"Shut up!" I cried. "Now, I know it's not puberty. Remember I told you I loved Arnold-wait a minute, did you tell anyone?"  
  
Lila had the look on her face. "Of course not, it's oh-so-sweet and all-"  
  
"You said it!"  
  
"Said what?"  
  
"Oh-so-sweet! Anyway, it's Arnold. I know I still love him. Yet, I know we were in this movie together-(haven't seen the movie yet. Booh) and he wouldn't let me kiss him-the great lug!"  
  
"Wait a minute, I thought this movie was based on your oh-so-sweet lives!" Lila blurted out.  
  
"Yes, I know. Such a surprise that me and Arnoldo got put in it. Not you and Arnold. You and Arnold are perfect together. Arnold really wants to kiss you Lila, so go kiss him!" I answered back.  
  
Lila looked shrill. "Helga, you know I think Arnold is not my oh-so-special one. So I can't just kiss him like that!"  
  
"Go-" I ordered, "now."  
  
Next second, we were ringing Arnold's door. I hid behind the wall as Lila rang.  
  
Oh why did I tell her to do this, when I could have been the one-how stupid am I? I thought.  
  
"Hello Arnold," Lila said. She and Arnold went into the boarding house and into Arnold's room.  
  
I followed them. I looked into the window, and Lila had done it-and was still doing it. Arnold was leaning on the window, still snogging with Lila.  
  
"No!" I suddenly screamed. I opened the window, and Arnold and Lila flew out-all of them bunched on me! "How could ya-you?!" we fell to the floor. hard. 


	3. Chapter 3: Stuck in a moment you can't g...

~*Chapter 3: Stuck in a moment you can't get out of*~  
  
"What was that all about?" Arnold asked Lila. "I mean, it was a pretty good kiss. but-Helga, by any chance, did you have anything to do with this?"  
  
"Uh-" I froze. I lifted my hands up in different positions so it would be easier to explain. "No," I lied. Lila opened her mouth.  
  
Arnold turned to Lila. He grasped her hand. "Arnold, I told you-you are not the special one.."  
  
"Then why did you just kiss me?" demanded Arnold. "I mean, if you didn't like me-and tell me the truth, why did you do it?"  
  
"Oh hell," I said. My hand automatically flew to my mouth. This is it. Arnold will never like me. He will always like stupid stupid Lila.  
  
"Well. uh. I.. love you!" she lied.  
  
"What?!" asked Arnold. "Lila, I know you don't love me." Arnold looked skeptical.  
  
"I-I did it," I said, proudly. "I told Lila to do it-" I sighed, "it's a long story.'  
  
"Helga, you know you can tell me!"  
  
"What are you talking about, Arnoldo? I cannot tell you things like this!" my hands flew to my forehead.  
  
"Helga," began Lila. "Just tell him. Everything."  
  
"Everything?" asked Arnold. "Helga, what are you talking about?"  
  
"Uh. I told Lila to kiss you because it made you happy and I wanted you happy because I love y-" stuck in a moment you can't get out of. Oh my lord! Do I realize what I am saying?! Maybe I should just make up a name.  
  
"Helga!" said Arnold and Lila at the same time.  
  
"Uh. I love a guy named Yoku-" I began, then Lila interrupted.  
  
"Helga!" Lila cried.  
  
"I love ya. Okay? I can't say you. Okay?! I love-" I looked at Lila's face and said, "you."  
  
A/N: Told you! Short chapter, wasn't it? I am happy to say that Helga still does love Arnold, and she was stuck in a moment she couldn't get out of. and Lila was ratting her out! 


	4. Chapter 4: Dear Diary

*~Chapter 4: Dear Diary~*  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
This is all Lila's fault. She made me do it! I swore to myself I would never tell my beloved Arnold my feelings. It's only been a year and I broke it. I tried to patch it up, but. here's how it went.  
  
"Hey, uh Arnold?" I asked Arnold, as Lila left. "I hope you know I hate you. I lied when I told you I loved you. I am a very good actress. so, I hope you didn't fall for my little charm. Lila had the idea!"  
  
"I don't believe you, Helga," said Arnold. "I mean, I know you hate me. But I don't think Lila would make you tell me. Besides, did she know?"  
  
"Uh. no. I told her a lie too.'  
  
"You lied to both of us?" asked Arnold.  
  
"Doi!" I said. "I mean, isn't it obvious? Why would I ever tell you the truth! What a weird bucko you are!"  
  
"Helga. I."  
  
"I what?" I snorted. "What do you want?!"  
  
"Well. I have a little bit of feelings for you too. A little bit. A smidge." I felt my heart beating very fast and I clutched it.  
  
"Arnold." I began. Arnold wrapped his arms around me and kissed me. "I know we are only in 5th grade, but I cannot help it."  
  
"Help what Helga?" Arnold asked soothingly.  
  
"I can't help being so mushy!" I cried. "If anyone finds out about this-and- -- if they found out I told you-"  
  
'Why do you care so much about what people think?' Arnold asked. I froze. He was right. His grip around me was warm, but I felt cold.  
  
"Arnold? Just kiss me." I was being so mushy!  
  
Arnold kissed me, and he stopped for a minute. He looked up over my shoulder.  
  
"Arnoldo. what is it?" I asked.  
  
"Wolfgang," he said. "He saw us making out!" Arnold nearly dropped me.  
  
"No!" I cried. "No. he will tell the whole school-and what will they think? We are just 5th graders!"  
  
"We better stop him," Arnold said hotly. "I mean, I know that we shouldn't care what people think-but I admit-we were snogging pretty hard?"  
  
'Snogging?" I asked. "Don't you mean making out or kissing-?" Arnold gripped my hand and raced out of the alley. 


	5. Chapter 5: The Agency

~*Chapter 5: The agency *~  
  
A/N: this is kind of like the movie. only a little different.  
  
I walked down the halls of P.S. 118. Kids chattering loudly, pointing at me, and someone else.  
  
Arnold. "Hey Arnold!"  
  
"Hey Helga!" Arnold called back. "Do you know what is happening?!"  
  
"Not a clue," I answered shrilly.  
  
"Helga Pataki and Arnold please report to the office please," said Principal Wart's voice.  
  
"Oh no,' I mumbled.  
  
"Yes?" asked Arnold sweetly as we reached the office.  
  
"Helga," began Principal Warts, "this is very tough to explain. It says on your birth certificate that you are a secret angent. Arnold, you too."  
  
"What?!" I cried. "I mean, why was I born a secret agent-and-why was he?"  
  
"Well, your grandfather was an agent. And Arnold, you and Helga were chosen by him to be in a Agency together."  
  
"What? Why was Arnold chosen too?" I asked.  
  
"You guys were seperated at birth-"  
  
"Wait a minute," I interrupted. "That makes us brother and sister?"  
  
I turned around towards Arnold, and we both screamed. "No, no," said Principal Warts. "You too were supposed to meet."  
  
"What about Gerald?" asked Arnold.  
  
'And what about Phoebe?"  
  
"They could be hackers," Principal Warts said. "I mean, we never know. Anyway, back to that. You were supposed to be agents from the beginning. But, we held back."  
  
"So what are we supposed to do?" asked Arnold. "Is there any missions?!"  
  
"A two year old baby girl was kidnapped in Salt Lake City, Utah. You must fly there and save her if she isn't already-dead."  
  
"What? You guys are relying on us to do this?" I belched.  
  
"Yes, yes of course." He snapped, and then two big looking men showed up.  
  
"Agent 007," one of them said, pointing at me. I looked at the tag, and it said Big Bob Pataki on it.  
  
'Dad? You have been hiding this from me the whole time?!" I cried.  
  
"Yes, and we are sorry Helga." He pointed at Arnold and said, "Agent 002 and Agent 007 meet my friend Dill. He has a baby name but he is VERY VERY strong."  
  
"So, what Agency do you guys work for?' asked Arnold curiously.  
  
"Big Bob's beepers," said Dad. "Agent Beepers. We made two agent beepers and hid them. The rest are just beepers."  
  
'Dill! You work for Dad!" I said.  
  
"007," snapped Dad. "Pay attention."  
  
Dad pressed a button on his beeper, handed it to us, and we flew through the floor, down a pipe.  
  
"Helga, look at your clothes!" Arnold said. I looked at my clothes that I was wearing. Black boots, black tight pants, and a black shirt, and black sunglasses.  
  
I looked at Arnold. "Same with you!"  
  
"Ready for your mission?" asked a metallic type voice.  
  
"Yes," I said strongly.  
  
"Get in the cart." I stepped in a cart, which led into a private jet.  
  
"Utah, here we come!" I said as the plane took off.  
  
"You shouldn't be happy," Arnold reasoned. "We are going to find a kidnapped baby. This mission could be dangerous!"  
  
'Danger is my middle name," I sneered. Minutes later, I closed my eyes and slept.  
  
~*Many hours later*~  
  
The plane landed. "Get off the plane," said the metallic voice. "By the way, my name is Wayne and I am your personal pilot. Beep me," he said. He had a nice voice right now. "Use your beepers. Ready?" He took off after we stepped off the plane.  
  
"Wow," Arnold began. "Wow wow wow. We better get started picking up clues."  
  
'Tell me how exactly are we going to do this?" I asked.  
  
"Well, first, look at your clue pages that the FBI have picked up," Arnold answered. "And remember our tools? We have to use them too. I have a little gadget that tracks them down if they are near the clues."  
  
"They have to be near the clues?" I asked, rolling my eyes. "Don't we have one that tracks down clues? Or one that tracks down the man?"  
  
"Yes. It's all in this little beeper."  
  
"Oh, I see. Tell me how exaclty are we going to live when we get back to P.S. 118? How can we save the little twit if Wolfgang saw us making out-he told the whole school and I think that is why and how they know!"  
  
"Know what?' Arnold asked stupidly.  
  
"They know about our little kiss because Wolfgang passed it around! That's why they were pointing at us this morning!" I cried. "Why did you have to kiss me?" I demanded.  
  
"What? You told me to kiss you!" he answered loudly.  
  
"I didn't even bring my diary," I snickered.  
  
'Stop thinking about yourself!" Arnold snapped. "Now I can't believe we even talked-not to mention kissed!"  
  
'Shut up, Arnoldo. So what if I think of myself? And, plus, I wasn't. And if you like, I will do this mission myself, thank you very much."  
  
A/N: I will write more later. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter! 


	6. Chapter 6: Starting the Mission

~*Chapter 6: Starting the mission*~  
  
"If you want to do this mission yourself, fine!" Arnold nearly yelled. He turned around and walked away.  
  
"Boys," I said to myself. "They are so stupid." I walked in the other direction.  
  
~*A Day Later and still no clues*~ Still no clues. I am beginning to think I might need that dumb bucko Arnold.  
  
And yet, I love him dearly. He is so cute, and his little football head is soo unique.  
  
"Arnold!" I called. I wondered if he found any clues. I searched around for a football head, but no sign.  
  
"I better go stay at a Hotel," I said to myself. I am sure Big Bob left me some money. I walked over to the Radisson Hotel, and went straight inside.  
  
"Hello, welcome to the Radisson Hotel,' said the lady at the counter. I looked at her name tag, and it said Mariam.  
  
"Mariam! You never said you worked for the Radisson Hotel in Utah!" I cried. "Why are you guys watching me soooo much?"  
  
"Well, I got a job just for today. My copy of the beeper said you were heading this way and into this hotel."  
  
"What room do I get?" I demanded.  
  
"Room 352, South Tower," Mariam answered.  
  
"I will never forgive you for this!" I declared. I placed two bucks on the counter and walked swiftly into the South Tower.  
  
"Helga! Two bucks won't pay!" Mariam called.  
  
"So what?" I called back. "You're my Mom, so why do I have to pay you?!"  
  
I unlocked the key to Room 352, and looked at the wonders. A huge bed, a little mini fridge, a closet, a bathroom with a tub and a toilet (of course!) I was so busy looking around I didn't notice that there was a huge table there.  
  
A phone sat on the table with a little menu for room service.  
  
I placed my stuff on the bed, and began unpacking. A whole room to myself, I thought.  
  
A computer fell out of my pack. "What does this do?" I asked myself.  
  
"Tracking Arnold," said the computer. "Near a clue." A map showed, with a red dot of where Arnold was. "Video game arcade."  
  
"Arnold? A video arcade when we have a mission to do?!" I cried. "I have to go there-directions please."  
  
"South Meridian Street, turn right on Kylie."  
  
"Got it!" I nodded. I rushed to the arcade, and looked from side to side in the street-and then bumped right into Arnold.  
  
'Helga?" asked Arnold. "Did you figure out the mission?"  
  
"One thing, Arnoldo. Why were you at the arcade when we have a mission to solve?!" I cried.  
  
"Well. I was looking for clues there," Arnold said slyly.  
  
"I don't believe you, you rat! You were playing games! I know you!"  
  
"Helga, you don't know me. If you did, you would know that I wouldn't do that!" Arnold cried.  
  
'Liar!" I barked. "And if you want to do this mission with me, you better pack up your attitude!"  
  
"My attitude?" Arnold barked back. "MY attitude? You are the only one with the attitude!"  
  
"UGH!" I whirled around. "Bucko, you better watch it!" I turned him around by force, and pulled him by his back-pack.  
  
"I think I can walk, Helga," Arnold retorted.  
  
"I don't want you going off to a arcade again, Football Head-Football Brain!" I retorted back. "Anyway, we gotta keep the mission up." I finally let him go, and we walked back into the Radisson Hotel.  
  
'One more room please," I said eagerly.  
  
"You need to share a room."  
  
'But there is only one bed!" I cried, "I cannot share a room-not to mention sleep by Arnoldo!'  
  
"Sorry," said the lady. This time it wasn't Mariam. It was someone named Jesse.  
  
"Look, Bucko," I said. I pointed my finger at her, "if you don't get us another room-"  
  
"No room, hon."  
  
"Don't call me HON!" I screamed. I dragged Arnold to my room.  
  
"Sleep on the floor," I ordered him.  
  
"Good thing I brought a sleeping bag for emergency!" Arnold answered, lifting up a blue sleeping bag.  
  
'Uh, Bucko, I think the Pataki's packed for me," I snorted. "Anyway, if you come near this bed tonight, SOCK time!" I held up a fist.  
  
"Okay, okay, Helga. And I wonder why we were chosen to do this together." He said, going into his sleeping bag. "D' ya think I know?" I said angrily. "I didn't WANT to do this with you!"  
  
"I thought you loved me," Arnold brought up.  
  
"I HATE YOU!" I exploded. "I lied, I admit-I lied!" I crawled into the huge bed.  
  
"We didn't even change, you know," he said.  
  
"D'O YOU WANT ME TO CHANGE IN FRONT OF YOU?!" I yelled.  
  
"No, change in the bathroom. And, brushing our teeth-"  
  
"Shut up, Bucko. What's the point of changing? We are waking up VERY early tomorrow."  
  
Arnold turned out the light, and we slept. 


	7. Chapter 7: Clues

~*Chapter 7: Clues*~  
  
*Next Day*  
  
"Helga, wake up NOW!" Arnold yelled in my face.  
  
"Arnold," I said grumpily. "Come here."  
  
"HELGA WAKE UP!"  
  
"What is it Bucko?" I asked.  
  
"Mission time," Arnold said. He pulled off the bed blanket. "Get up, brush your teeth-"  
  
'Sheesh, you sound like Mariam!"  
  
"Whatever, Helga. We better get started." I finished getting ready in a flash, and so did Arnold.  
  
"We will be coming back," Arnold said to Jesse.  
  
"How long will you be staying?"  
  
"As long as we need to," Arnold answered. He grabbed my arm, and pulled out of the hotel.  
  
"What was that all about, Arnoldo?" I sneered. "'As long as we need to?' How long is that?"  
  
"I don't know, that's why I said that!" Arnold cried. "Now, we have to find the little girl."  
  
"What was her name?!"  
  
"It says her name is Amanda, on the beeper," Arnold answered, showing me the beeper.  
  
I pulled out my beeper, and it said, "tracking clues."  
  
"Oh my GAWD! We are standing on a clue!" I said loudly.  
  
We looked down at our feet, and there was a mark shaped like a butterfly. I pounced onto the floor, and looked at the marking.  
  
There were words beside it: Agents or FBI, I have the kid, and we went somewhere-that is a secret. I will probably KILL her sometime soon. Gotta find me, to find her!  
  
-Anonymous  
  
I grabbed the antena of Arnold's beeper, and pulled it off. There was a fingerprint tracker, and I saw fingerprints by the words.  
  
"Track him!" I screamed.  
  
"Match, match match!" The beeper said. "Name: David Jake Thomas."  
  
"Where does he live!" I screamed at the tracker.  
  
"Show fingerprints," the tracker yelled back. I showed the fingerprint tracker in a little hole, and there it was!  
  
"David Jake Thomas: North Street, take a left on Brooktree Way. Adress: 1237."  
  
"Hey Arnold!" I said, motioning him to come, "look at what I found!" I grabbed my beeper, and beeped Wayne.  
  
"Take us to North Street, and take a left on Brooktree Way!" I ordered.  
  
"Got it," Wayne said. "Take your seats. We are taking off!" Minutes later, we were dropped off at his house.  
  
"I am really nervous," Arnold said. "We are going into a kidnapper's house, Helga. What if he kills us?!"  
  
"Shut up, Arnoldo."  
  
I knocked on the door, a little shakingly.  
  
"Who is it? Nobody is home."  
  
"Agent 007, and Agent 002," I yelled through the screen door. A man, dark and mysterious, opened the door.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Tell us the truth, do you know anything about the Amanda kidnapping?' I asked, pulling my shades down to my nose.  
  
"Yes," the man said.  
  
"Let us in," I urged. "Where is the child?!"  
  
"I don't have her."  
  
"Let us in!"  
  
"I know who has her," said the man.  
  
"Who? And what's his name?"  
  
"First, I am Jake Thomas. Second, my brother has the same fingerprints as me, and he has Amanda."  
  
'Take us to his home!" Arnold cried.  
  
"Now!" I said, pointing out a lazer gun.  
  
"Here we go," Jake said. We walked three blocks down, and knocked on the door. 


	8. Chapter 8: Got the Guy!

~*Chapter 8: Got the guy!*~  
  
"What's your name?" I asked, pulling open the door.  
  
"Tom Thomas," said the man. "What do you want?!"  
  
"Me? We want Amanda!" I answered, pointing at Arnold, Jake and I.  
  
"I don't have her," Tom grumbled.  
  
"We know you do, Tomas!" Jake schreeched.  
  
"Tomas Thomas? What kind of name is that?" asked Arnold quietly.  
  
"You weren't supposed to tell!" Tom said, pointing a finger at Jake.  
  
"What?' asked Arnold. "You knew all this time and you wouldn't tell the police?!"  
  
"I am a police," said Jake suddenly. "Always been one, undercover, not telling anyone my identity."  
  
"Why DIDN'T you arrest him, el stupido?' I squealed. "Give us the girl, now!" I ran right under Tom's arm, and into the house. I found baby Amanda sitting on the couch, cheeks puffed, eyes red from crying. I grabbed her, and ran under Tom's arms again.  
  
"Arrest him!" Arnold cried. Jake grabbed out some hand-cuffs, and handcuffed him. He lead him to the house, put him in the car, and drove to the police station.  
  
"Amanda's mom and dad live down the street, and their address is 1355," he said before he left.  
  
"Thanks!" I called. I leaned over and kissed Arnold's cheek. "Sorry," I whispered into his ear.  
  
We walked down the street and knocked on the door.  
  
A plump woman opened the door. "My baby!" she cried. She picked up Amanda. "Where did you find her? Oh thank you!"  
  
"We found her at Tom Thomas's house. He is with the police," I said. We said bye, and I beeped Wayne to take us home.  
  
"We did our mission here," Arnold said.  
  
~*Back Home*~  
  
"Nothing happened, Arnoldo! Just because we were in that mission together doesn't mean I like you. Got it?"  
  
"Okay okay," Arnold said as we walked in the halls of P.S. 118.  
  
"Hey, it's the smooch kids!" called Wolfgang. "Ooh!" he hissed.  
  
"Shut up, Wolfgang. It's probably your horrible perverted sight," I sneered. "Anyway, it's not like you have anyone to like you! Oooh!"  
  
It's great to be home, I thought. SOOOO many crazy things have happened and wait until I tell Pheebs!  
  
A/N: Very pathetic ending, but I couldn't think of anything else. I just felt like making the ending real pathetic! ^_^ 


End file.
